You Don't Know Love, Baby
by gardapati
Summary: Taking but never giving. — Rin, Maki, and something resembling love but isn't.


It's raining heavily outside. The air is soggy and the road slippery and the sky a copper yellow. It looks depressing.

"Maki-chan," she asks her, once, her right hand stretched while the other holding an umbrella, "want to walk home with me, nyaa?"

Maki contemplates, before she nods weakly, subtly, but it's there. Perhaps it's embarrassing for her to be the one who has forgotten her umbrella at home. Perhaps she's just being uncomfortable. She's acting like she isn't afraid, but body language is something she doesn't have a complete control with. Rin keeps up her smile while Maki walks to her side. Maki suggests to take the road to left from school even though her house is closer to the right. Rin's house is closer to the left. So.

The trip was pretty much silent. Not that Rin doesn't spark up a topic like she usually do, she _does_, but you can't converse with someone whose lips are pursed in a tight line. They arrive at an intersection where they have to part ways, and Rin asks to the other girl whether she wants to be walked home or not. Maki hurriedly refuses and quickly turns on her feet, running with the afternoon shower soaking her to the bone.

Rin understands, and sings under her breath all the way home, "_My thanks are starting to overflow_, _little by little_..."

* * *

The kiss is there but the heart is not. Their lips meeting in attempt to seek warmth out of one another. When they part, eyes meeting each other, a pair so blank the other so sad. It's one of those kisses they share when nobody's looking. It's one of those kisses that aren't supposed to mean anything.

"Sorry," she whispers, her tone of voice lower than usual, "Maki-chan,"

Rin prepares herself for anything. Maybe a shout, an anger lashed at her out of stress and frustration. What she receives is a dead, sickening silence. Maki opens her mouth to speak, eyes glued to the leg of the folding chair Rin seated herself in, and a band of ants crawling under, "No,"

"Maki-chan—"

"Please," Maki sounds defeated and tired and there's no one to blame but herself, _herself_, the demon under the pseudonim of _Hoshizora Rin_, "just, _no_,"

It hurts her more than anything else, because all this time she's slowly strangling _Nishikino Maki _with imaginary hands and empty kisses and – she pushes her lips once more, earning her a surprised yelp from the other girl, and like always she's taking taking _taking _but never giving. It's a relationship lacking an actual love.

* * *

"Rin-chan," Hanayo asks her on one rainy day, brows knitted and her complexion _super serious_ when Maki's home with a fever and it's just the two of them in the clubroom, "I think you should talk to her."

Rin feigns obliviousness, sounding bright even with the grim weather outside, "Whatcha talkin' about, Kayochin," she moves to the seat beside Hanayo, so close their fingers slightly touch, and suddenly the rain doesn't feel that col, "who's this 'her', nyaa?"

But Hanayo knows, with how her eyes are peering deep into her, finding what's there behind the sunshine smile. Hanayo knows she's trying to glide her way out of this topic, and it's almost made her mad, cause, you know, it's her problem and no one else thus she has no right to stick her nose to where it doesn't belong.

But she's _Kayochin_. She won't leave her alone anyways, will keep bugging her to no end. And since _she's Kayochin_, there's no way she'll snap at her, you know.

Rin stares back at Hanayo's eyes, sharp and treacherous. She feels like throwing herself into the rain and gets a fever of her own too. Or just, anything to escape the girl before her, really.

"Rin," Hanayo presses, leaning in closer, and Rin faintly smells orange, "you've been avoiding Maki-chan, and vice versa, and that's," Hanayo breaths in, "that's...just _wrong_."

Rin stands up from her seat, steps away from her, and shrugs while she turns her back to the other girl, making her way to the door and suddenly her throat craves for citrus juice, "Okay," she obliges, because it's _Kayochin_, and that's enough of a reason.

* * *

It's raining again today and it's getting worse than the one on the day before, and the day before the day before. The third years are busy with exam prep and the second years dealing an urgent student council stuffs, leaving the first years idling around in the clubroom like the past few days. Nothing in particular happened, not until Hanayo briefly left the room to the toilet.

"Maaaaki-chan," Rin asks her in a sing-song voice. The atmosphere is tense and awkward. Maki acts undisturbed, eyes on the textbook she's been reading for the last twenty minutes or so, her mind elsewhere, "Maki-chan, talk to me will you, nyaaa."

There's no reply. A minute passes and Maki rises from her seat, her book in her hand which she quickly puts inside her bag.

"Rin," she speaks up (finally) but doesn't look at Rin in the eyes, "I'm leaving early, alright? I'm not feeling well."

Rin is still on her seat, looking at the window and catches an image of lightning striking down from the sky before dissipating into nothing once more, "Careful on your way home, nyaa!"

She doesn't really mind her leaving and doesn't stop her from doing so. She doesn't have the right to.

* * *

Maki clings, claws to her shirt and she can feel her nails, long and desperate _as if _they are searching for her heart deep behind her ribs. Rin pulls back, and presses their lips together once again, pulls back, and presses again, three times. Her hand on the back of Maki's head and the other settles on the left side of Maki's hips. Like she owns the girl. She does. The girl doesn't own her in any literal sense. It's twisted like that.

They are kissing under a heavy downpour (what's with the world and rain nowadays?), umbrella thrown and forgotten. Never mind the confused look of other passerby. It's romantic in chick flicks and soap operas. In practice, she's shivering instead of feeling anything resembling love. Rin questions the logic of shoujo manga authors.

She pulls back for the umpteenth already, her eyes meeting Maki's, wet and moist with the tears threatening to burst. Her chest heaving, her cheeks flushed, but it's nothing like a shoujo heroine after her prince charming kissed her square on the lips.

"Stop," Maki squeaks, and Rin notices how it's been awhile since their eyes are locked for more than five seconds, "please _stop _this, at once," the rain doesn't show any sign of letting up any time soon and her toes are beginning to curl themselves in fear of freezing off, "I—you're hurting me."

"I know," Rin replies, sounding bitter, hands no longer wrapping around Maki and decides to grip the sides of her skirt, "sorry."

She might have snapped Maki at some point, "Do you like me or not?" the question pierces into her far harsher than the rain has. Not enough to break her, but still. Maki waits, biting her lip, and Rin thinks there's a small trickle of blood coming through.

"I—" she tries to answer but stops mid-sentence as she realizes she doesn't know what to say, and any reassuring words are plain stuck somewhere in her throat, and she falls to silence. A hand strikes Rin in the cheek hard she nearly topples, and before she could regain her balance Maki has fled. Maki doesn't run that fast, whats with the rain and the risk of tripping over puddles, but Rin just stands motionless, doesn't bother to chase after her. Maki deserves someone better.

* * *

Maki is absent with a fever the next day. Rin goes to school with her cheek swollen. Hanayo is too smart to miss the hints. Rin can feel the girl sneaking glances at her every now and then, questions about to leap from her small lips.

It's another rainy day, though the rain isn't as horrific as the day before. Rin grabs her outdoor shoes and begin to search for her umbrella before she remembers the incident yesterday. God knows where her umbrella is now...

"Rin-chan, you forgot your umbrella, did you?" Hanayo catches her attention, umbrella in hand, "let's walk home together."

The idea of walking home with Hanayo sounds wiser than making it through home freezing to the core, umbrella-less. And it's walking home with _her Kayochin_. But. "Sorry," Rin waves a hand to show her friendly refusal, "I have an errand and gotta buy some things first, sorry!"

Hanayo watches Rin trekked her way outside, and a smile crept to her face when the girl turns right instead of left.

* * *

**Notes**: [1] I am truly sorry. I just...had to.

[2] Written in adrenaline rush. There are probably grammatical errors or typos, please tell me if you spot 'em.

[3] The title is from 's "You Don't Know Love". I listened to the song 80% of the time when I was writing the fic...ah, it's so catchy.


End file.
